Dew Drop

In Mobile there is an amazing hole in the wall restaurant called "The Dew Dropp Inn" My friend Josh and I try to go whenever I come home.  Yesterday Josh, Andrew, Chad and I went there for lunch.  I had just got my food when my cell phone rang.  It was my brother.

Me: "Hey, what's going on?"

My brother and I don't talk so I knew something was wrong.

Mac: "Hey, whatcha doin?"

Me: "Uh eating lunch at Dew Dropp."

Mac: "Oh Dew Dropp that sounds good."

Silence.

Me: "You need something?"

Mac proceeds to tell me a long convoluted story that I couldn't really follow so after picking out the key words this is what i got from it.

Me: "So you're at the Mitchell center (Auditorium at the University of South Alabama) and you went to put your key in the ignition of your car and it fell between the seat and the center console?" 

Mac: "Yeah and I can't get in touch with Mom or Dad."

Me: "Alright well I just started eating so when I finish I'll come up there and use my little hand to get your key out."

Mac: "No, I just want you to get in touch with Mom or Dad so they can bring me my spare key."

Me: "Seriously? Dad's at work and Mom is all the way in freakin' Mississippi."

Mac: "What's she doing in Mississippi?"

Me: "Sigh....that house you live in is like a mile from the state line Mac."

Mac: "Well i don't consider that Mississippi."

Me: "Oh my Lord, my point is that it's freaking close enough."

At this point Andrew had to go back to work and Chad and Josh are dying laughing.

Mac: "Well i thought you meant she had something she needed to do in Mississippi.  Just call and get them to bring me the key."

Me: "NO! You can wait until i'm done eating and i'll come help you."

Mac: "Ugh it's hot!"

Me: "Seriously? Go inside and i'll call you when i get there."

Mac: "Fine."

Josh and Chad are still laughing really hard. 

Chad: "I don't know if i could ever bring myself to call my parents because I dropped my key in my car."

Josh: "My hands would have to be bloody stumps..."

Chad: "and pieces of my car laying all around me..."

Me: "Ugh..."

I go back to eating my lunch while the three of us talk about how far we'd have to go before we called someone to help us and debate whether or not Mac is going to keep looking for the key to save me the trip or if he just hung up and walked inside.  I voted the he just walked inside.

Two minutes later Mac calls back.

Me: "HEY YA FOUND IT?"

Mac: "I started to go inside and I thought about the brow beating I'd get if you had to come down here and find it for me so I thought I'd try a little harder."

Me: "So Dad leaving work and driving from somewhere in the county or Mom driving all the way from the house wasn't enough but me yelling at you made you try harder?"

Mac: "Yes."

Me: "Well i'm glad my strict parenting has made you try a little harder in at least one area."

Mac: "Yeah, alright, thanks for offering to help. Bye."

Me: "Ha yeah bye."

Late that night I was telling my Dad about this and he gets pissed.

Dad: " uh he better not fucking call me for that.  He's supposed to have an extra key in his car because he does this shit all the time."

Me: "I dunno he didn't mention an extra key."

Dad: "No I saw the box the key goes in sitting in his passenger seat.  He can have empty beer cans all in his car but not that extra key he's supposed to have..."

Me: "Wait what? Why does he have beer cans in his car?" 

Dad: "uh because he drinks them."

Me: "Yeah i get that...never mind. He's a classy guy."  

Dad walks outside and i go back to my room to find Mac standing in my doorway.

Me: "Why are there beer cans in your car???"

Mac: "Why the fuck are you going in my car?!"

Me: "Ha I didn't. Dad just told me that your car has empty beer cans all in it."

Mac: "Stay out of my car."

Me: "I'll try."

I went in my room and closed the door...

The way home...

It takes me about two hours to get from where I live in Ft.Walton Beach to where my parents live in Mobile.  I was driving home for Easter and I was only a couple of minutes from the exit on I-10 that I take to their house.  I was going west and a white Dodge Ram that was traveling east careened into the median.  Through the cloud of dust and grass it was creating I could see the white truck bouncing towards me and the other five or so cars that were traveling near me.  We realized that the truck didn't plan on stopping.  It entered the west bound traffic about two car lengths in front of the car now stopped directly in front of me.  The truck then did three full 360 degree turns before stopping and rolling backwards into the median.  The car in front of me pulled off to the shoulder and I wasn't sure if the truck had clipped it and I just hadn't realized it and I pulled off behind them.  Another truck pulled into the median to check on the driver of the out of control truck.  I thought that the driver of the truck must have had a heart attack, seizure or some kind of medical emergency that had rendered him incapacitated. While the other man approached the truck i approached the car that had been in front of me. 

I stopped just behind the back passenger's window. 

Me: "Excuse me. Are y'all alright?" 

Male Passenger: "Yeah we're fine.  Thank you for stopping though."

Female Driver: "FUCK THAT! I AIN'T FINE!!! HE SCARED THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF ME? DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT?!"

Me: "Haha yeah I saw I don't know what happened but I just wanted to make sure y'all were ok..."

Male Passenger: "yeah we're good, thanks again."

Me: "Yeah, no problem."

I turned and faced the median where the man who stopped was trying to talk to the man in the truck.  The man in the truck appears fine.  He's conscious, holding a cell phone, and looking at me and the other man who stopped like we have lost our minds.  

Me: "What the fuck?"

The other man who stopped just put his hands in the air, shook his head and then pointed to the guy in the truck and started walking back to his own vehicle.  So I'm pretty sure Meth almost killed me.  The guy merges back into traffic the same time I do but doesn't get off the interstate at the next exit to turn back east bound but continues west.  Awesome.

My Dad is a sheriff's deputy (his retirement job after 25+ years as a police officer) was sitting in his living room watching Fox News (Glenn Beck makes me want to cut myself) and I decided to tell him about the incident thinking we could discuss how meth almost killed me.

After telling him what happened. 

Dad: "You shouldn't stop for shit like that."

Me: "What? I can't not stop...i thought it was someone having a heart attack or something.  How could i not stop?"

Dad: "What are you going to be able to do? You're going to give some guy CPR?"

Me: "Uh well I do know how to and I am capable of dialing 911 and I know basic stuff that is better than nothing."

Dad: "Are you a Doctor?"

Me: "No"

Dad: "Are you a nurse?"

Me: "No"

Dad: "Are you a cop?"

Me: "NO!"

Dad: "Well what good are you to anyone then.  You're just going to get hurt. Stop being retarded.  Once you've seen enough dead civilians you'll know it's not worth stopping." 

Me: "Yeah, I don't even know how to respond to that soooo good talk Dad."

FML

Xbox

I go through phases with things.  Right now i'm getting back into playing my XBox.  After being bored to death all day during useless briefings I stopped at the BX to pick up some trash bags and while I was there I picked up "Halo: Reach."  Halo is the reason I started playing XBox so I thought I would give this game a try.  It came out about six months ago.  

I go up to the counter with my trash bags, dental floss, and video game.

Cashier: "Wow, I haven't seen anyone buy this game in FOREVER!"

Me: "Uh...ok."

Cashier: "This has been out awhile."

Me: " Ok, I understand that but I haven't played it yet." 

A line is forming behind me while he stands there holding the game, not ringing it up, and staring at myself and the game with judgement.

I turn to the Sgt standing behind me who i don't know and he just offers a "I have no idea." shrug.

Cashier: "Ya know I think it's cheaper at Walmart."

Me: "I'm not at Walmart! I'm HERE."

Cashier: "Well I don't think I can mark it down."

Me: "I DON'T CARE! It's worth it to me not to drive the extra ten minutes and have to actually step inside Walmart soooo..."

Cashier: (Shrugs) "If you're sure..."

I put my Debit card at the top of the slide.

Me: "Are ya done because I'm swiping my card now."

He finally rang up the video game.