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My brother is 23 years old, lives at home, goes to school, and is in his 5th year of being a psychology major.  That is all the back story I will give and you may form your opinions as you see fit. 

My parents have two Rottweilers, a female who is a couple months old and a male who is under two years.  Maximus, the male, became very ill recently.  A month ago they thought he had kennel cough and long story short he had a mass in his lung that had to be removed along with part of his liver.  After what was thought to be a speedy recovery he started coughing again so back to Birmingham for testing.  I was still tired from just getting back from down range (deployed) but no one else could go with my Mom so I didn't mind.  We drove up there, dropped Maximus off, got a hotel room, picked him up the next day and then we drove the 4.5hrs back.  When we got home it was glorious.  An empty case and six pack of beer on the island, dry dog food all over the floor, two dog bowls and stand are strewn through out (one had had water in it,) dirty cups, food packaging and wrappers, and a bag of trash on the kitchen table.  (When I say trash I don't mean papers...i mean a kitchen garbage bag full of garbage) Mom and I are standing in the destroyed room, Mac walks in, and he is pissed!

 

Mac: "What are you doing here?" 

Me: "haha uh what?"

Mac: "I didn't know you were coming home.  You didn't call and say you were on your way and I invited Adam over." 

Me: "So?"

Mom: "That's fine Adam can come over."

Me: "Wait, why does it matter that we're here and you were going to have Adam over? and why does it look like a bomb went off in here?"

Mac: "Well Ashley obviously we were going to have gay sex."

Me: "See you're being sarcastic but other than that drugs are the only thing I can think of that two "grown" men would need an empty house for. Soooo"

Mac: "Y'all just didn't say you were coming home, that's all."

Mom: "It's fine, Ashley and I can watch tv in my bedroom."

Me: "What? No. This is a matter of principle i'm not hiding in your room because he's having a friend over and mainly I want to know why he's the one who's pissed when the kitchen looks like this."

Mom: "I do want to know why the garbage is on the table."

Mac: "the cans are still out at the road so i just put it up there and i'm mad because I can't figure out one of the problems on my online quiz."

Mom: "Oh well when you finish your quiz if you would go get the cans and take the trash out..."

Me: "WHOA WHOA WHOA...that's not why he's pissed, he's pissed because we're home.  Look at this place and when is that a good reason to put trash on the kitchen table?! And is this quiz online?"

Mac: "yeah and I've emailed and called my teacher to ask her about it"

Me:"well they have all kinds of information on the "inter-web" i prefer google soooo that might speed up this whole garbage where we eat issue." 

Mac:"Whatever Ashley." (he always says my name with disgust...like it tastes bad to spit it out)

Me: "Where's Jack?!" 

Jack is my 9lbs dog who I would pass my brother in a burning house to find.  Jack doesn't let anyone in the house with out giving them a piece of his mind and he is always happy to see me. 

Mac: "I dunno"

Me: "JACK!"

I go yelling through the house until I get to the master bathroom where I find Jack and Rusty (my Mom's chihuahua) shut up inside.  I walk back to the kitchen and Mac is outside getting the garbage cans.

Mom: "Oh good you found them."

Me: "They were in the bathroom.  He's seriously mad at us for coming home!"

Mom: "I know."

Me: "Actually mad and is he drunk b/c there's beer everywhere."

Mom: "I don't know." 

 

Mac walks in with Adam.  Adam is a very polite young man and tries to say hello over the dogs barking.  They go back to Mac's room.  Mom begins to clean the kitchen while I unload the car. After a little while Mac comes out and says that he got in touch with his teacher while she was at the gym.  I just stared at him.  He went back to his room for a little while longer and comes back out.  My Mom is still cleaning.

 

Mac: "oh and Belle broke the glass in the picture by the door to my room."

Belle is my German Shepherd.

Me: "What picture?"

Mac: "The one on my wall."

Me: "How in the world did she do that?"

Mac: "She got locked in my room and she jumped up and down against the door and must have knocked it down." 

Me: "why would she get that upset at being shut in your room?"

Mac: "I don't know but she did."

Me: "There's a hole in this story."

Mom: "Maybe she had to poop."

Which would make sense if either Mac had said he let her out or that she had shit in his room...he abruptly turned and went back into his room.  Mom went and got the picture and pointed to it.

Mom: "There's even a white hair in it."

Me: "I'll pay for it but there's also white Belle hair in Afghanistan and a retarded amount of empty beer bottles in this house..." 

 

I dropped the issue and finished unloading the car.  Mac and Adam went into town.  Mom finished with cleaning the kitchen.