I’m on leave after my deployment and I decided to come home and spend a few days with my family. The other night I was sitting on the couch watching TV when Mac walks into the living room.
Mac: “Hey don’t go out the back door because there’s a huge spider web.”
Me: “Oh uhh ok.”
Ugh whatever.
A couple of hours later I’m in the kitchen and Mac and I notice that Jasper (my Mother’s cat) is outside. My parents live on the outside of town so there are a number of animals that would probably enjoy eating a delicious kitty, so they try to keep him inside at night.
Me: “Oops, Jasper’s still outside. I’ll grab him.”
I open the back door and rush out to get Jasper. First full step out the door and I’m immediately reminded of Mac’s warning as I feel spider web wrap all the way around my head. I’m not gonna lie...I may have emitted a small squeal as I immediately turned back into the kitchen, hands slapping all around my head and face to try to get rid of the massive spider that must be on me somewhere.
Me: “Holy Fuck! Is it on me?! Ugh help me get it off!”
I shove my head in my brother’s face.
Mac: “Ew get away from me!!!”
There may have been a small shove and squeal here to keep my spider head away from him.
Me: “Oh my God Mac you can’t even look to see if there’s something on me?”
Mac slaps my head a couple of times.
Mac: “Yeah....ok....ugh no spiders.”
I turned the lights on outside and saw that the massive spider was still in what was left of his web.
Me: “You squealed! Like a girl and you wouldn’t even LOOK for the spider!”
Mac: “I told you not to go out the back door.”
Me: “Valid point.”
Mac: “So technically you didn’t listen to ME...Can this go on the website???”
Me: “I’m not leaving out the shove and squeal.”
Mac: “So close.”
