Spiders...

I’m on leave after my deployment and I decided to come home and spend a few days with my family.  The other night I was sitting on the couch watching TV when Mac walks into the living room.

 

Mac: “Hey don’t go out the back door because there’s a huge spider web.”

 

Me: “Oh uhh ok.”

 

Ugh whatever.

A couple of hours later I’m in the kitchen and Mac and I notice that Jasper (my Mother’s cat) is outside. My parents live on the outside of town so there are a number of animals that would probably enjoy eating a delicious kitty, so they try to keep him inside at night.  

 

Me: “Oops, Jasper’s still outside.  I’ll grab him.”

 

I open the back door and rush out to get Jasper.  First full step out the door and I’m immediately reminded of Mac’s warning as I feel spider web wrap all the way around my head.  I’m not gonna lie...I may have emitted a small squeal as I immediately turned back into the kitchen, hands slapping all around my head and face to try to get rid of the massive spider that must be on me somewhere.

 

Me: “Holy Fuck! Is it on me?! Ugh help me get it off!”

 

I shove my head in my brother’s face.

 

Mac: “Ew get away from me!!!”

 

There may have been a small shove and squeal here to keep my spider head away from him.

 

Me: “Oh my God Mac you can’t even look to see if there’s something on me?”

 

Mac slaps my head a couple of times.

 

Mac: “Yeah....ok....ugh no spiders.”

 

I turned the lights on outside and saw that the massive spider was still in what was left of his web.

 

Me: “You squealed! Like a girl and you wouldn’t even LOOK for the spider!”

 

Mac: “I told you not to go out the back door.”

 

Me: “Valid point.” 

 

Mac: “So technically you didn’t listen to ME...Can this go on the website???”

 

Me: “I’m not leaving out the shove and squeal.”

 

Mac: “So close.”