Lady Edwards

So after reading what I had to say last night the fine Mrs. Edwards responded with three messages over the course of a few hours.....

   "Please add this to your blog..... Your comments and actions create division, hurt feelings and unnecessary drama (that you seem to need for attention for some reason). You are obviously quite disturbed (bless YOUR heart).  I'm glad to see the RIF processed worked in at least one case.  I will pray for you. 

Please feel free to add this to your blog too...

Also... There's quite a few arguments in your statement that you don't support or explain very well.  I'd love the opportunity to chat with you in person and get you to verbalize how a wife wearing a tshirt and showing pride in what she does to support her husbands profession takes away from your service in way, shape or form.  I'd love to get you to explain that to me and explain how saying horrible things about the wives makes you any better than what you are accusing them of doing.  Your comments and the drama you are stirring are causing pain and heartache for people that don't deserve it.  So yes, that does make you a bully.  Most of the true Gunship women and crewmembers I know ARE the quiet professionals and could care less about a little tshirt.  In fact, out at Cannon, the crewmembers and the wives wear the tshirts together at functions.  What a concept.  If someone is treating you badly, it is up to you to address it and confront the true issue which in my opinion has absolutely nothing in this world to do with a t-shirt.  

On second thought, you are not welcome to post any of my responses to your page or tie my name to your craziness in any way.  Just like previous incidents, where people took your inappropriate postings to the commander, I'm sure I'll end up seeing them.  I'll contact (company's) Human Resources and cut and paste them in a letter to The CEO"

She clearly asked someone for some second hand information about me. I have deleted the name of the CEO she says she's going to write directly and the company she says I work for. 

My response..

  Well Mrs Edwards... Denise... Ma'am... Lt. Col... Whatever it is you like to be called, AGAIN I'll try to address your statements in order (even though you addressed none of my points other than saying that you didn't understand.)   WE, the women who have served in the 4sos find the shirts offensive as they claim a title which we worked hard for and hold dear.  If anyone other than the women of the 4th were offended this would be a nonissue and the shirts would never have been made. I have only been told of one female from U-models who doesn't find these shirts offensive.  If you still don't understand please see all the examples I listed in my last response.  

  Again, I said that I am friends w multiple wives... Actually I am friends w some wives who's husbands I rarely talked to bc they're awesome women, so to act like I'm speaking of anyone other than those who have provoked us is just bating on your part. Why exactly shouldn't I speak honestly about women who openly disrespect us?  I'm assuming along with entitlement you are teaching victim and fake niceness to your daughters... More of what the world needs. 

   So, it's silly for us to be offended by the shirts and WE are causing pain and heartache? How exactly is it dramatic to state our opinion? If it's such a trivial thing then change the wording!  Why do people keep bringing up Cannon and the 16th? I wasn't in the 16th.  Maybe I should get a shirt that says I was though... Hmm. Who is treating me badly? Are you referring to the wives? I guess we could bring up their behavior... Like when we ask them and leadership to change a shirt... It goes over about as well when you say "Sir, your wife shouldn't order the airmen around."  Considering people have been "bringing it up" for years, I'd say that ship has sailed. 

  Here's the thing about social media sweet heart... You sent a stranger (me) a message and legally once that message hits my inbox, it's mine to do with as I see fit.  There is no expectation of privacy on Facebook.  So, you can tell me to not post things all you like.  I'm glad to see you took the initiative to ask someone about me.  That is LIKE what happened, so I don't know how much I would trust all of their information. I never said I worked for that company and I'm not sure exactly what you plan on sending the CEO of a multibillion dollar company? Are you threatening to send this person why I got separated from the Air Force or are you threatening to send him that I said I don't like your tishrts or are you threatening to send him my messages where I am defending myself from your hostile messages. I guess it really doesn't matter, the point is you are threatening me.  After throwing your rank around so freely and making sure I understand that you're a Lt. Col as I understand it it is frowned upon for a military member to threaten a civilian.  Do not threaten me again Lt Col.. YOU contacted me and I responded in kind and did what is my legal right to do. 

 If you do send something to the CEO or HR department, what are you going to say? Please forward it to me so I can share it too... We're all dying to read that letter.  

I have attached a hurt feelings report in case you need a starting point... Feel free to write in "woman" where appropriate. 

This One's for the Girls!

   A little back story here.  I was in gunships for five years and while I was there the spouses club suggested making "Gunship Girl" shirts. Before I show you this shirt, let me explain that "Gunship Girls" is the term that we use and others in the military use to describe a female member of our squadron. I've had men stop me down range "Aren't you a gunship girl?" It's a term we take pride in, there aren't many of us, and considering gunships have existed since Vietnam we have only existed for a very short time. That being said... 

   I will start my story with what the spouses club (who do not like actual gunship girls) suggested for a tshirt idea while I was still in the squadron. 

In response to this I sent a scathing email explaining how insulting this is and how shocked I am to think that they would think for a second we wouldn't find this offensive.  We worked hard to be in gunships and we sure as shit aren't hear for anyone's morale or inspiration! If they want a shirt like this they need to change it to "wives" and maybe put a checkbook in her hand. 

This I'm sure didn't win me many pals amongst the wives, but I know which spouses I'm friends with and respect so none of them took my words to be directed at them and a lot of guys don't let their wives associate w the spouses club because they are so catty and wear their husbands rank anyways so obviously I didn't mean them either. 

The shirt idea has come up a couple times since then and every time at least one gunship girl makes it clear this is insulting and the name is something we earned. 

We thought it was over...

Until a wife posted pictures to the 4SOS Ghostriders Facebook page showing the design for their new shirts. On the front was a silhouette of a gunship and on the back is said "Gunship Girl." I posted on my own wall saying how insulting this was and I had other gunship girls, wives, and guys either agreeing or saying how often they had told the other wives that, but that they didn't care. People began posting under the picture of the shirts that it was still insulting and some one joked "Are you going to make a 'Gunship Guy' shirt?!" I responded by saying "We've told them this is offensive, but clearly they don't care."

 I would post a screen shot of all of this, but the entire post was deleted.  It was replaced with this... 

That is the commander's wife... This was done under the belief that no one would dare tell her it was offensive.  I wasn't going to say anything, but then...

She said that about the guy's shirts in response to a joke that was made on the deleted post.  (Trostle likes everything her or the CC do...he's a good puppy.) 

What you don't see here is that her last comment is in response to me saying "I think the person who suggested the gunship guy shirts was kidding. (No man spouse would pretend to be a gunship guy.)" 

This was deleted and replaced with this from the cc...

Now the threat to delete me is comical, especially considering all this page is is for the spouses club to get info about children's events and other stuff that no one cares about so that most people block it's updates.  Also it's a fb page soooo really? What angered me wasn't the threat... It's that someone would take the side of the wives over the squadron members past and present.  I responded w as much professionalism as I could muster... And by that I mean I didn't literally just write "FUCK OFF." 

I deleted myself from the page.  I got a couple friend request, I assume from people who liked it, and then the hate mail...  

   "I am so disheartened that many have never reached the point of professional development to truly internalize all that is required to keep a squadron running and airplanes flying.  The mission doesn't happen without families keeping things going at home and dealing with tremendous burdens while the active duty member is deployed.  The Gunship Community is just that... a community.  Everyone who plays a role in ensuring Gunships fly is a Gunship Girl or Guy.  The maintainers who keep the plane flying are Gunship Girls and Guys.. The Security forces who protect the base are Gunship Girls and Guys..obviously I could go on for paragraphs about all it takes to keep those airplanes flying.  I was active duty Air Force and now I'm a Reservist.  I work in the Pentagon buying Gunships and I consider myself a Gunship Girl. I am a Gunship girl not because I've tested Gunships, procured Gunships, but because I've played an important role in the mission by supporting my husband.

 My daughters wear Gunship Girl tshirts. Since their father is an AC-130 crewmember, over the years they have made tremendous sacrifices so he could fly missions and train others.  They are proud to be Gunship girls.

Now, regarding your condescending comments regarding "vanity and amusement" of spouses.. I'm sorry, but that is an ignorant thing to say.  The AFSOC spouses make tremendous sacrifices so the military members can deploy and further their careers.  They are smart women, they are strong women, and I am so proud to call many of them my friends.

As I see it, you have a choice.  You can be the kind of person to promote community and build others up or you can tear others down based on your own insecurities.  Based on your unemployed status, I'm guessing your current attitude hasn't served you all that well. I hope some day you come to realize that spouses taking pride in the squadron, their husbands, and all their families sacrifice doesn't degrades you service in any way, shape, or form.

By the way, I'm sending you a private message and not confronting you on facebook, because I don't want an ugly confrontation.  I just hope you will consider a different perspective.

Denise Edwards, Lt Col, USAFR, spouse, mother, Air Force Officer, and Gunship Girl"

Well I can tell you one thing... That was a mistake because if there's one thing I LOVE... It's someone who wants to be a secret bitch so I can share it with all of you... Makes my black heart grow three sizes! 

My response.. 

"I'll try to address this more or less in order and then I'll share a few things w you at the end..

I don't understand what it takes to keep a squadron flying? I was the one actually in a flying squadron, so it would seem to me that since I'm the one who called wheels up or an emergency to base ops, reported my broken equipment to maintenance, and had to deal with the ludicrous things acquisitions dumped on me after ignoring what the operator said would be useless or helpful that I would be far more aware than some one who sat at the pentagon hindering the war fighting effort.  

Things don't happen with out the family at home... Here's the thing... Myself and the other women offended by you and the step-ford wives would never look at a stay at home mom or any other spouse and be rude or judgmental without provocation.  I consider several wives friends and they are not who I was addressing with my comments nor were any of my counterparts speaking to them.  Sadly, there is provocation on the part of who I'll refer to as "they" or "the wives" from here.  They walk in the squadron as if they own it, they give spiteful looks to any woman in a flight suit, they order airmen around bc they wear their husband's rank and think they're entitled to that illusion of power, they don't accept all of the wives either (hence why there are 320+ people in a squadron and you only see a handful of women... Those wives don't like you either.) and I've asked multiple people and none of them can remember our spouses club doing a single positive thing for the actual squadron members.  "Wear heels and your hubby's flight suit" party is not helpful to the squadron.  I am not saying there are not some wives that make their husband's deployments easier, but by your logic how does the single sq member manage to go to work everyday? Are there no single people who deploy? Right, there are.  There are single moms in that squadron... How much help do you think the spouses club gives them? I'll tell you, they get the same dirty looks the rest of us do.  I was an exec for a year and I can tell you the spouses club was nothing, but a thorn in the side of running that sq.  And why exactly do I need to thank you for supporting YOUR husband? My family and friends don't expect thanks or a title for supporting me... So are they less needy or am I just better at showing my appreciation? A little of column A and a little of column B I'd say. 

Everyone who plays a role is a gunship guy or girl? What kind of "everyone gets a participation ribbon" garbage is that?! So, I should go tell a ranger or SEAL that I'm one of them bc I killed people for them? Really? I don't know how well that would fly. Why didn't I become one of those so that I could say that? Well, I'm a small woman and I wouldn't have made it through any kind of selection process so I don't go around saying I'm one of them just bc I've supported them.  It would be insulting to all the hard work they put in and all the times they put themselves at more risk than I did. If you had wanted to be a gunship girl maybe you should have done better where ever you received your commission, worked your ass off at at least two training squadrons, and then worked so hard to become proficient, respected, and accepted in a community where you are one of 20ish females out of over 300 people. There haven't always been women in gunships... This isn't a desk job... If we mess up we don't just lose the Air Force some money or get a sad face from our boss... People die.  If we do our job well, bad people die. So when we say "this is offensive.." Just say "sorry, we didn't realize." And go back to your desk or couch or scrap booking room... 

Tremendous sacrifices? I get that it sucks to have your spouse gone (assuming you even like him.) What exactly are you sacrificing? Your life continues while they're gone.. You have your family, your children, your friends, pets, tv, food, a nice bed, and even indoor plumbing.... Sorry that I don't see that as much of a sacrifice in comparison when we have none of that and we miss our spouses, plenty of women can figure out how to mow the lawn.  So you keep the kids alive and the house doesn't burn down while he's gone? Gold star for you! That's not what every single woman does everyday or anything and some even manage to go to a J-O-B too.  I'm not saying it doesn't suck, I've been the one at home before, but it's so self centered and self righteous to act like that is what keeps the war effort moving. I'll fill you in, the phones don't go down that much... They just get sick of the nagging and complaining or they say they're too busy to call.  To say that it's anything other than vanity and amusement doesn't make since... They wear them for attention and bc they think it's cute. Perhaps I use a condescending tone bc I don't suffer fools well, but it's still an accurate statement bc for any respectable reason there would have been an immediate apology and a scrapping of the shirts. 

I see nothing wrong w small children wearing such shirts and wanting to follow in their father or mother's footsteps... Adults though? No.  My father has been a police officer since before i was born.  He's been stabbed, taken shrapnel, and been involved in more shoot outs and car chases than I care to type out... So as a girl my father would leave the house and I wouldn't know if he was coming back.  Do you know what this makes me? A police officers daughter!!! NOT a police woman and I sure as hell would never claim to be one and insult the women who have worked hard to be in law enforcement. Maybe your daughters will want to be gunship girls and more power to them, but w this entitlement mentality you have I would put my money elsewhere. 

About building up community you can see my comments about how those women act, how hard we worked to be gunship girls, and how we are friends w the wives who want to be our friends. 

Now let me tell you a couple things you may not know...Bless your heart.

 I see you are really good at doing research (probably why all your procurements for gunships were so cost effective AND worth while) I am not unemployed, I chose to list myself as unemployed bc people like yourself are too lazy to even ask someone and bc I don't care for people to know where I work.

 As far as my attitude...  Well, you've got me there.  I took after my father (luckily or sadly depending on your point of view) so I try to be polite and respectful until I have reason to be otherwise.  I feel like the multiple attempts to simply say "these are offensive" was the time for polite and after those requests were not only ignored, but the feelings of the squadron members were cast aside and while my counterparts who are still in can't openly say this is bullshit, I can.  

So far what I know is, from what you said, you were a desk jockey and the best thing you can hang your hat on is being able to say you did paperwork. Everyone has their place... Some people are the tip of the spear (gunship guys have always said we're the shaft that supports the spear...) you would be the price tag to buy the shaft alone? I'm sure you're a special shinning star in your own way. 

As far as your sign off... Isn't it redundant to say you were a LtCol AND an Air Force officer? Are there LtCols who weren't officers? I don't find the title of spouse or mother any more impressive than being a LtCol in a field where you want credit for the laurels of your husband's career more than your own.  There's no test you have to pass before birthing a child or marrying a man. Idiots get married all the time and even a dog can have puppies, so way to go on all of your achievements there.  

This entire message is exactly what I would expect from someone of your station... It's nothing more than passive aggressive cattiness. You aren't my friend and your message is nothing more than an attempt to validate yourself and make me feel like a bully.  You were not successful, I'm sad to say.  I am not a bully, I am simply standing up for myself and my fellow gunship girls.  Your smart friends had been told and they chose to ignore... I'm glad you wanted this to be a private message so people wouldn't see your cattiness and you could just think you would scold me as if I cared. If you had asked someone might have told you that... Hence why I am posting this to my blog, along with your message, the commander's threat to kick me out, and my response that seems to have upset you.  I will then post the link to my fb page and tag multiple gunship guys and girls who I think will be interested.  

  Enjoy rocking that poser shirt, 

Me"

Publicly Punked Out... My Shame and Confusion

Before I tell my story I would like to apologize...
I realize that I have been gone for some time and there's a couple of reasons. It's not that people are not still awful to me and each other in general, but a large portion of that awful over the last few months has revolved around family members and their reaction to my mother falling ill annnnnd people get all upset when I post "family business" online. (Read "family business" as telling the truth.) The other part being that I actually managed to find someone that enjoys my company and he's pretty wonderful so either things just don't enrage me like they used to or by the time I go to write anything I'm not upset enough to bother anymore. I've told him that I'm not going to be upset when I find the bodies buried under his house as long as they're human... I draw my line at animals... Those people probably deserved it. I digress as always... The point is I will try to write more since 1.people love awful and 2. People look at me weird when I say "I don't have any hobbies other than booze and tv." So here we go...
I got very sick while at work. I went to dinner with a friend who was passing through our base for work, afterwards I started feeling feverish. When I woke up the next morning I felt like death and I was happy to have the day off. When I say death I mean I didn't have any cold symptoms, but I felt like something was pulling the muscles from my bones and chewing on my joints... I was achey haha. The fever lasted for three days and on the third day gave way to vomiting, diarrhea, and stomach cramps that kept me from even drinking water. Finally after two weeks our onsite medical person told my company they needed to send me home because I was not getting better fast enough and I had lost 15lbs. I was home for 24 hours when the gastroenteritis started to clear up and my regular doctor informed me "you'll live, drink fluids and come back if anything gets worse...." I went home and woke up with a rash all over me. I took benedryll for a day and was still suffering the next day so back to the doctor I went...
While sitting in the waiting room I was the only person on one side of the room and I could look up and see the area where people stood to pay their copay after their visit. While I was innocently playing on my phone...

Woman: "MY HUSBAND'S BACK IS SO MESSED UP.....I MIGHT AS WELL PUSH HIM INTO TRAFFIC!!!!"

She is yelling and I don't remember the rest of her rant, but I wasn't sure if this woman was screaming at the girl behind the counter, so I looked up to see if someone needed to help her. Now there are certain voices and speech patterns that you can identify race and usually socioeconomic class of an individual so go ahead and imagine an older, heavy set, white trash woman who is a smoker and you have what I heard and saw...

Woman: MORE YELLING BLAH BLAH INCOHERENT WHITE TRASH YELLING...

I realize she isn't harassing the young girl about her visit, but making fun of her husband. I go back to my phone.

Man: "That little girl just looked at you!"

Woman: "What little girl?"

Man: "That little girl in the waiting room! You were yelling and she was staring at you like you're crazy!"

Now in my defense here this woman is easily 65 years old...

Woman: "She better not be staring at me! Don't be messin' with a teacher little girl cuz I'll teach you sumthin! Yeah you better not look at me!"

Still looking at my phone... Is this happening... Wtf?! Is this crazy bat going to come in here to fight me? Are we beefing?! What do you do when an old woman thinks you're 12 and threatens you? There is no win in this situation... Stand up and break her hip? Well then I'm an awful person who abuses old people and my luck she has dementia or something. What if she comes in here?? I'm getting punked out by an old woman.... It's like I wear a sign. Fine.. Punked out... That's what I'll do, I'm not hitting or shouting with an old woman.
She pays her bill...
Woman:" yeah you keep looking at that phone! I'm going to the bathroom before we leave because I can!"
Man: "Can I have the keys to start the car?"
Woman: "NO!"
For her to use the bathroom she has to pass the exit and walk closer to me... She does so and I can feel her staring at me... I hope it doesn't break my glasses if this old woman hits me, they're expensive and I'm blind.
She passes twice with out incident while she grumbles about how I'm a little girl and she'll teach me.
There's no way this happens to other people... There's just not.
(The rash is hives because my body is still fighting the infection...)