A little back story here. I was in gunships for five years and while I was there the spouses club suggested making "Gunship Girl" shirts. Before I show you this shirt, let me explain that "Gunship Girls" is the term that we use and others in the military use to describe a female member of our squadron. I've had men stop me down range "Aren't you a gunship girl?" It's a term we take pride in, there aren't many of us, and considering gunships have existed since Vietnam we have only existed for a very short time. That being said...
I will start my story with what the spouses club (who do not like actual gunship girls) suggested for a tshirt idea while I was still in the squadron.
In response to this I sent a scathing email explaining how insulting this is and how shocked I am to think that they would think for a second we wouldn't find this offensive. We worked hard to be in gunships and we sure as shit aren't hear for anyone's morale or inspiration! If they want a shirt like this they need to change it to "wives" and maybe put a checkbook in her hand.
This I'm sure didn't win me many pals amongst the wives, but I know which spouses I'm friends with and respect so none of them took my words to be directed at them and a lot of guys don't let their wives associate w the spouses club because they are so catty and wear their husbands rank anyways so obviously I didn't mean them either.
The shirt idea has come up a couple times since then and every time at least one gunship girl makes it clear this is insulting and the name is something we earned.
We thought it was over...
Until a wife posted pictures to the 4SOS Ghostriders Facebook page showing the design for their new shirts. On the front was a silhouette of a gunship and on the back is said "Gunship Girl." I posted on my own wall saying how insulting this was and I had other gunship girls, wives, and guys either agreeing or saying how often they had told the other wives that, but that they didn't care. People began posting under the picture of the shirts that it was still insulting and some one joked "Are you going to make a 'Gunship Guy' shirt?!" I responded by saying "We've told them this is offensive, but clearly they don't care."
I would post a screen shot of all of this, but the entire post was deleted. It was replaced with this...
That is the commander's wife... This was done under the belief that no one would dare tell her it was offensive. I wasn't going to say anything, but then...
She said that about the guy's shirts in response to a joke that was made on the deleted post. (Trostle likes everything her or the CC do...he's a good puppy.)
What you don't see here is that her last comment is in response to me saying "I think the person who suggested the gunship guy shirts was kidding. (No man spouse would pretend to be a gunship guy.)"
This was deleted and replaced with this from the cc...
Now the threat to delete me is comical, especially considering all this page is is for the spouses club to get info about children's events and other stuff that no one cares about so that most people block it's updates. Also it's a fb page soooo really? What angered me wasn't the threat... It's that someone would take the side of the wives over the squadron members past and present. I responded w as much professionalism as I could muster... And by that I mean I didn't literally just write "FUCK OFF."
I deleted myself from the page. I got a couple friend request, I assume from people who liked it, and then the hate mail...
"I am so disheartened that many have never reached the point of professional development to truly internalize all that is required to keep a squadron running and airplanes flying. The mission doesn't happen without families keeping things going at home and dealing with tremendous burdens while the active duty member is deployed. The Gunship Community is just that... a community. Everyone who plays a role in ensuring Gunships fly is a Gunship Girl or Guy. The maintainers who keep the plane flying are Gunship Girls and Guys.. The Security forces who protect the base are Gunship Girls and Guys..obviously I could go on for paragraphs about all it takes to keep those airplanes flying. I was active duty Air Force and now I'm a Reservist. I work in the Pentagon buying Gunships and I consider myself a Gunship Girl. I am a Gunship girl not because I've tested Gunships, procured Gunships, but because I've played an important role in the mission by supporting my husband.
My daughters wear Gunship Girl tshirts. Since their father is an AC-130 crewmember, over the years they have made tremendous sacrifices so he could fly missions and train others. They are proud to be Gunship girls.
Now, regarding your condescending comments regarding "vanity and amusement" of spouses.. I'm sorry, but that is an ignorant thing to say. The AFSOC spouses make tremendous sacrifices so the military members can deploy and further their careers. They are smart women, they are strong women, and I am so proud to call many of them my friends.
As I see it, you have a choice. You can be the kind of person to promote community and build others up or you can tear others down based on your own insecurities. Based on your unemployed status, I'm guessing your current attitude hasn't served you all that well. I hope some day you come to realize that spouses taking pride in the squadron, their husbands, and all their families sacrifice doesn't degrades you service in any way, shape, or form.
By the way, I'm sending you a private message and not confronting you on facebook, because I don't want an ugly confrontation. I just hope you will consider a different perspective.
Denise Edwards, Lt Col, USAFR, spouse, mother, Air Force Officer, and Gunship Girl"
My response..
"I'll try to address this more or less in order and then I'll share a few things w you at the end..
I don't understand what it takes to keep a squadron flying? I was the one actually in a flying squadron, so it would seem to me that since I'm the one who called wheels up or an emergency to base ops, reported my broken equipment to maintenance, and had to deal with the ludicrous things acquisitions dumped on me after ignoring what the operator said would be useless or helpful that I would be far more aware than some one who sat at the pentagon hindering the war fighting effort.
Things don't happen with out the family at home... Here's the thing... Myself and the other women offended by you and the step-ford wives would never look at a stay at home mom or any other spouse and be rude or judgmental without provocation. I consider several wives friends and they are not who I was addressing with my comments nor were any of my counterparts speaking to them. Sadly, there is provocation on the part of who I'll refer to as "they" or "the wives" from here. They walk in the squadron as if they own it, they give spiteful looks to any woman in a flight suit, they order airmen around bc they wear their husband's rank and think they're entitled to that illusion of power, they don't accept all of the wives either (hence why there are 320+ people in a squadron and you only see a handful of women... Those wives don't like you either.) and I've asked multiple people and none of them can remember our spouses club doing a single positive thing for the actual squadron members. "Wear heels and your hubby's flight suit" party is not helpful to the squadron. I am not saying there are not some wives that make their husband's deployments easier, but by your logic how does the single sq member manage to go to work everyday? Are there no single people who deploy? Right, there are. There are single moms in that squadron... How much help do you think the spouses club gives them? I'll tell you, they get the same dirty looks the rest of us do. I was an exec for a year and I can tell you the spouses club was nothing, but a thorn in the side of running that sq. And why exactly do I need to thank you for supporting YOUR husband? My family and friends don't expect thanks or a title for supporting me... So are they less needy or am I just better at showing my appreciation? A little of column A and a little of column B I'd say.
Everyone who plays a role is a gunship guy or girl? What kind of "everyone gets a participation ribbon" garbage is that?! So, I should go tell a ranger or SEAL that I'm one of them bc I killed people for them? Really? I don't know how well that would fly. Why didn't I become one of those so that I could say that? Well, I'm a small woman and I wouldn't have made it through any kind of selection process so I don't go around saying I'm one of them just bc I've supported them. It would be insulting to all the hard work they put in and all the times they put themselves at more risk than I did. If you had wanted to be a gunship girl maybe you should have done better where ever you received your commission, worked your ass off at at least two training squadrons, and then worked so hard to become proficient, respected, and accepted in a community where you are one of 20ish females out of over 300 people. There haven't always been women in gunships... This isn't a desk job... If we mess up we don't just lose the Air Force some money or get a sad face from our boss... People die. If we do our job well, bad people die. So when we say "this is offensive.." Just say "sorry, we didn't realize." And go back to your desk or couch or scrap booking room...
Tremendous sacrifices? I get that it sucks to have your spouse gone (assuming you even like him.) What exactly are you sacrificing? Your life continues while they're gone.. You have your family, your children, your friends, pets, tv, food, a nice bed, and even indoor plumbing.... Sorry that I don't see that as much of a sacrifice in comparison when we have none of that and we miss our spouses, plenty of women can figure out how to mow the lawn. So you keep the kids alive and the house doesn't burn down while he's gone? Gold star for you! That's not what every single woman does everyday or anything and some even manage to go to a J-O-B too. I'm not saying it doesn't suck, I've been the one at home before, but it's so self centered and self righteous to act like that is what keeps the war effort moving. I'll fill you in, the phones don't go down that much... They just get sick of the nagging and complaining or they say they're too busy to call. To say that it's anything other than vanity and amusement doesn't make since... They wear them for attention and bc they think it's cute. Perhaps I use a condescending tone bc I don't suffer fools well, but it's still an accurate statement bc for any respectable reason there would have been an immediate apology and a scrapping of the shirts.
I see nothing wrong w small children wearing such shirts and wanting to follow in their father or mother's footsteps... Adults though? No. My father has been a police officer since before i was born. He's been stabbed, taken shrapnel, and been involved in more shoot outs and car chases than I care to type out... So as a girl my father would leave the house and I wouldn't know if he was coming back. Do you know what this makes me? A police officers daughter!!! NOT a police woman and I sure as hell would never claim to be one and insult the women who have worked hard to be in law enforcement. Maybe your daughters will want to be gunship girls and more power to them, but w this entitlement mentality you have I would put my money elsewhere.
About building up community you can see my comments about how those women act, how hard we worked to be gunship girls, and how we are friends w the wives who want to be our friends.
Now let me tell you a couple things you may not know...Bless your heart.
I see you are really good at doing research (probably why all your procurements for gunships were so cost effective AND worth while) I am not unemployed, I chose to list myself as unemployed bc people like yourself are too lazy to even ask someone and bc I don't care for people to know where I work.
As far as my attitude... Well, you've got me there. I took after my father (luckily or sadly depending on your point of view) so I try to be polite and respectful until I have reason to be otherwise. I feel like the multiple attempts to simply say "these are offensive" was the time for polite and after those requests were not only ignored, but the feelings of the squadron members were cast aside and while my counterparts who are still in can't openly say this is bullshit, I can.
So far what I know is, from what you said, you were a desk jockey and the best thing you can hang your hat on is being able to say you did paperwork. Everyone has their place... Some people are the tip of the spear (gunship guys have always said we're the shaft that supports the spear...) you would be the price tag to buy the shaft alone? I'm sure you're a special shinning star in your own way.
As far as your sign off... Isn't it redundant to say you were a LtCol AND an Air Force officer? Are there LtCols who weren't officers? I don't find the title of spouse or mother any more impressive than being a LtCol in a field where you want credit for the laurels of your husband's career more than your own. There's no test you have to pass before birthing a child or marrying a man. Idiots get married all the time and even a dog can have puppies, so way to go on all of your achievements there.
This entire message is exactly what I would expect from someone of your station... It's nothing more than passive aggressive cattiness. You aren't my friend and your message is nothing more than an attempt to validate yourself and make me feel like a bully. You were not successful, I'm sad to say. I am not a bully, I am simply standing up for myself and my fellow gunship girls. Your smart friends had been told and they chose to ignore... I'm glad you wanted this to be a private message so people wouldn't see your cattiness and you could just think you would scold me as if I cared. If you had asked someone might have told you that... Hence why I am posting this to my blog, along with your message, the commander's threat to kick me out, and my response that seems to have upset you. I will then post the link to my fb page and tag multiple gunship guys and girls who I think will be interested.
Enjoy rocking that poser shirt,
Me"
Ummm...I'm pretty sure I was never referred to as a Gunship Guy for being Security Forces at Hurlburt.
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