The Dentist

I have to start this story two years ago at my dental check up.  During my check up I was told that my teeth are perfect and whatever i'm doing i should keep it up because they look great! Awesome...Right so, fast forward to a year later at my next check up where the dentist tells me that i pretty much have a cavity in every tooth in my head. 

Male Dentist 1: "Ma'am do you floss everyday?"

Me: "Ha no."

Male Dentist 1: "Well why don't you? You really have to start."

Me: "Uh because flossing sucks and a year ago i was told i didn't need to change anything."

The conversation went down hill from there.  I was scheduled to have two cavities and an abrasion fixed.  I went to that appointment and I believe that was where Male Dentist 1 cut into my tongue with the sand paper like material he was using to smooth out the filling.  After that pleasant experience I was told that i have two more cavities and another abrasion that needs to be filled but they won't be able to fit me in before I deploy.

Dental Tech: "I'm sorry Ma'am we can't fit you in before you leave and our books don't go far enough out for us to schedule it after so you'll just have to call us when you get back."

Me: "Why exactly can't you fit me in? I don't leave for over two weeks."

Dental Tech: "Well we have other appointments..."

Me: "Yeah i get that. My point is that i doubt all of your appointments for the next two weeks are deploying or can't be rescheduled because my last appointment was rescheduled twice soooo"

Dental Tech: "Well we can't just let you take someone's appointment."

Me: "So my teeth get to get worse over the next few months instead of you sending out an email, that y'all sent me twice by the way, to someone on this base who probably never deploys?"

Blank stare. 

After my deployment I called and made an appointment and when I got there this was the conversation I had. 

Female Dentist: "Ok, today we're just going to be repairing a little abrasion so it shouldn't take very long at all."  

Me: "Um and two fillings."

Female Dentist: "Uh no, just the abrasion."

Me: "Well I'm sure I was told that that's what i need."

Female Dentist: "Well it's not in your chart so we're not doing it."

Me: "Ok that's probably just a mistake.  I mean you can't take the time to check?"

Female Dentist: "It's not in your chart."

Me: "I understand it was left out of my chart but my file does have my last set of x-rays so you can't just look at them and see if you see anything that should be fixed."

Female Dentist: "No."

Me: "Seriously? There's nothing I can say to get you to help me right now? When can i get help?"

Female Dentist: "No and you'll have to wait until your next yearly exam.  If there's anything wrong i'm sure it won't progress that far in a year."

Me: "Yeah, i'm sure...great."

She then proceeds to shove a needle so far into the side of my cheek that i heard and felt a loud pop.  Then she started drilling on my tooth before it was numb.  JOY.

You're now caught up to today.  I have been dreading this appointment and what they might find. They call me back and I tell the tech the very abbreviated story of having two cavities that were never filled a year ago...she's completely uninterested but she at least pities me enough to say they should have fixed them.  After she gets done with the water pick power washer, which is at least better than the evil metal hook they used at one time, the dentist comes in and looks at my xrays.

Male Dentist 2: "Well you have weak spots between most of your teeth."

Me: "Right so at my check up last year I was told I have two that need to be filled but then at the appointment they refused to fill them..."

Male Dentist 2: "Well you see the way it works is that if it isn't that bad through proper dental hygiene a person's teeth can actually repair the damage.  So I'm sure that is what they were referring to."

Me: "No, it's not. They made an appointment to..."

Male Dentist 2: "Right, well we're going to fill between 12 and 13. OK lets have a look." 

So i don't remember what numbers he said but you get the idea. He interrupted me because obviously i'm an idiot.  He rolls next to me and starts looking in my mouth.  After inspecting my teeth he does the cancer exam.

Male Dentist 2: "Lay your tongue flat."

I flatten my tongue.

Male Dentist 2: " 'At a girl!" 

He patted my head when he said that. 

Male Dentist 2: "How many sodas do you drink?"

Me: "One to two a day and I try to only drink diet drinks though." 

Male Dentist 2: "Right, what about gatorade or energy drinks?"

Me: "Sigh, I try just to drink diet drinks and I don't drink sports drinks."

He feels that i'm lying.

Male Dentist 2 to Tech: "Put her on the high risk list and what did her teeth actually look like BEFORE you worked on them?"

I am pissed...the tech is uncomfortable.

Tech: "umm I haven't actually polished them yet."

Male Dentist 2: "Ok fine but she had tarter before you blasted them right?"

Tech: "No actually she didn't...her teeth look great."

Male Dentist 2: "Well you need to brush twice a day, floss, and we're going to put you on the high risk list so that you get seen twice a year."

Me: "Ok I DO brush twice a day, I DO floss, I try to avoid drinks with sugar, AND if you notice my file there has a huge green paper stapled to it that says i'm already on that list BUT that doesn't mean anything because no one sees me every six months and I can only make an appointment with y'all once a year!"

Male Dentist 2: "Oh...Let me see her chart."

The Tech hands it to him. He looks it over and compares my xrays.

Male Dentist 2: "Umm so the places that we were worried about over the last two years haven't actually changed at all since '07 so we're not actually going to do anything and maybe they won't get any worse since they haven't in the last four years.  So make her an appointment for six months from now."

He walks out. The tech does my cleaning and fluoride treatment.  

Tech: "Ok Ma'am you're all done."

Me: "Do I need to make my appointment at the front desk?"

Tech: "oh, our books don't go out that far but the computer system should remind us to call you but if you haven't heard from us in six months then you should give us a call." 

Me: "Great...see you in a year."

Soooo I'm positive no one at the dental clinic will see me for at least a year but the question is which diagnosis will I get? Perfect, fucked up requiring hours of painful work, or stable? You got me again AF medicine...you got me good!