As you all know my ex-husband got a new girlfriend (we're still speculating what mental facility she escaped from) and thought that it was appropriate to cut off all contact with me (in his defense this seems to be an epidemic… really ladies? Am I THAT threatening to you? so sad.)
So as I sat and thought about what a douche my ex is and how much time I wasted on him as a boyfriend, husband, and then friend it occurred to me that the only reason I have a $40/month storage unit is to hold on to old patio furniture I had bought him for his birthday. I then remembered the judge telling him that anything he didn't remove from my possession would be my property… hmmm what to do…what…to…do…
That's when it hit me…I'll give it back to him…in pieces.
I went to Lowe's and picked out my weapon. I went to the "TOOL WORLD" area and only found small hammers…these won't do. I asked an employee:
Me: "Excuse me, where are y'alls sledge hammers?"
Employee: "Let me look."
He came back a few minutes later.
Employee: "Uh we don't have any. Would you like just a large hammer?"
Me: "Y'all don't sell them? I looked online and it…nevermind. No, thank you."
FYI they're over by the rakes.
Before you judge, I'm not as in shape as I was before my surgery and you should try slinging a sledge hammer for 10-15minutes straight.
Me and MY WHOLE WORLD! (she might have helped by pooping on it)
Delivery!
Me taking pride in a job well done! I sweat a lot, but like my friend MW said, "Haha no one wants you so who the hell do you have to impress?" She's right and besides…this honey badger doesn't give a shit! No, I'm not a K-State fan but B is and my ex hates B more than just about anyone on this planet so how could I not wear a shirt that he gave me??? I considered putting it on my dog but I didn't want her to stretch it out.
A lot of effort to empty out my storage unit? Maybe, but I'm pretty awful and I'm willing to put in some work just to say fuck you when someone deserves it.
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