I’m starting to think that I was way better off just dating myself... but apparently it’s weird to be ok with dying alone... stupid societal norms!
This fella wanted to go to picklefish, much better start than the Beau Rivage, so I agree.
We meet and order a couple of beers. No food was ordered... can I point out that if I meet with you at around dinner time I expect food. I work out a lot... I eat a lot... it’s happening.
I thought we were having an enjoyable time (minus my lack of food) and then things took a turn... I thought this guy was good looking, he wasn’t very tall, but worked out a lot...which honestly made him look a little disproportionate but ya know... no one’s perfect.
Date #2: “It’s so hard for me to hold the heavier dumb bells because my hands are so small.”
Me: “Oh, yeah that’s obviously my problem too...otherwise I’d be throwing the 100lbs dumbbells around.”
He says a little more about working out in general...
Date #2: “Yeah, it’s hard not to drop ‘em though, when you don’t have huge hands.”
Me: “Ok, let me see these things.”
I hold up my hand to his... mine was bigger. Not by a lot. I have long fingers, but not manly hands by any means.
Me: “I have really long fingers. You’re not the first guy I’ve met who’s fingers aren’t as long as mine, that’s all.”
Date #2: “Yeah, you do have long fingers. I mean I don’t think I have the Burgerking guy’s hands or anything, they’re just a little small.”
Me: “Do they smell of cabbage?”
I laughed... it was funny and how many times am I supposed to not
Date #2: (No laughter) “No, and I’m not related to any carnies either...”
Me: “Ha, well that’s good to know.”
I excused myself to go to the bathroom and when I came back.
Date #2: “I’m really tired so I’m gonna go.”
I still had some of my beer left.
Me: “Oh...uh ok.”
Date #2: “Yeah, I paid while you were in the bathroom.”
Me: “Well, alright then.”
We walk out... small hug.
Date #2: “It was nice to meet you, I’m just tired.”
Walks off... Never to be heard from again.
That’s like me expecting a guy to tell me my boobs are big... I should have just made a dick joke.
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