From the Vault...
(Whenever things would get slow during a flight this is the story I would tell as a warning to all other men...Josh had never heard it until the other day and he felt that I should share it with y’all.)
So my ex-husband was also a shitty boyfriend.. shocking, I know. He would break up with me regularly because he “could do better” blah blah blah... I had low self esteem blah blah. So after dating off and on all during college I went off the Texas for Navigator training and he went to grad school at Alabama. A couple of months before I graduated from training (mother’s day weekend I think,) I flew him out to Texas to come see me. I was living in the dorms, which means I had a bed, recliner, kitchenette, bathroom, and particle board furniture.
It’s beautiful isn’t it? All that one could hope for? Probably the MOST romantic place in all of San Antonio.
Like I was saying... On the day that I picked him up from the airport two friends had been installing running boards on my jeep...
Sometimes I miss you Jeep!
...I had been helping and by the time it was time to go pick up asshole from the airport I was covered in sweat and grease. I called and told him I’m not coming inside because I’m so gross so just come outside.
On the last day of his visit we had been out during the day doing something and I had gotten a terrible headache. I told him we needed to go back to my room so I could lay down.
I had JUST fallen asleep...
Mike: “Hey (shakes me slightly,) Wake up.”
Me: “I JUST fell asleep! Leave me alone.”
Mike: “I need to talk to you.”
Me: “Seriously? My head hurts...this can’t wait?!”
Mike: “No, we really need to talk.”
Me (halfway talking into my pillow): “Are you kidding? Did you just wake me up to break up with me?! You could have just done this in an email or over the phone.”
Mike: “Will you talk to me?”
Me: “Holy fuck! What?!”
I sit up...
Mike: “Well... ya know... we’ve been together for a long time...”
Me: “Just say it so I can go back to sleep...”
Mike: “I just really don’t think there’s anything left for us to do.”
Me: “Un-fucking-believable! You had me fly you here, take you around San Antonio all weekend, wake me up with a headache, and all so you could dump me AGAIN!”
Mike: “No, I think the only thing left for us to do is get married...”
The fact that I said yes honestly makes me want to kill myself... with out a doubt the dumbest thing I’ve done.
He takes out a ring...
We had been together for some time (off and on obviously) so the discussion of what kind of ring I would want had come up. I like the rings with three diamonds, I do not like yellow gold, and I did not want anything from a chain store like zales or kays... (they’re gross... yeah, I said it! Hearts open Jane Seymore kind of gross!)
This ring was in a zales box, was a solitaire, and was two and a half sizes too big... (at least it wasn’t yellow gold I guess.) We take it to Zales... fucking Zales... and they have to send it off so I didn’t actually even get to wear the engagement ring I didn’t want for two weeks.
I think I managed to hold in my bitchness for all of 24 hours...
Me: “So decided not to go with the whole knee thing?”
Mike: “I forgot.”
Me: “Did you forget all the nice things you had decided to say too?”
Mike: “I figured I’d just wing it.”
Me: “Well I figured you were dumping me... the setting made it extra beautiful, I appreciated the effort.”
Mike: “Well you ruined what I had planned.”
Me: “How did I do that?”
Mike: “I was going to propose in the airport, but you didn’t come inside.”
Me: “So the San Antonio airport was your plan for a magical moment huh? Whatever...”
He also called his parents to tell them we were engaged... His mom’s response?
Mike’s Mom: “So, she’s pregnant?”
Mike’s Mom: “So, she’s pregnant?”
Mike: “No.”
Mike’s Mom: “Then why are you marrying her?!”
Yeah I can’t believe I didn’t take his stupid last name...
It’s almost 1400 today... that’s late enough to start drinking right?
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