Ashley Explains it All

So because I am such a winner I’ve moved back in with my parents.  I was going to wait until a little later, but a friend’s in-laws are building a house near my old place and were wanting to rent with furniture and I couldn’t see turning that down. I had gone to Texas for work and when I got back this is what I found... 

Mom: “Soooo I’m having the kitchen floors redone.”

Me: “Meaning?”

Mom: “You have to use a ladder to get into your room.”

Me: “Of course I do.”

Mom: “AND the entire house smells terrible from the chemicals.”

Me: “Of course it does.”

I get home to find a noxious smell... My brother dropped me off since he had an appointment.  I went to sit in my parents room and watch tv because the smell seemed to be weakest there.  Now, I’ve never actually huffed paint but if I were to take a guess about what it’s like then I’d say this was close.  I got there wide awake and I had planned on being productive... for the life of me now I can’t remember what said productive activity was going to be seeing as those brain cells are long gone now... I turned the TV on and immediately felt sleepy... I would wake up at random and send my mother random text messages until we figured out that I was just high.  

For Example: 

Me: “What color are your walls? I don’t even know what this is...”

Mom: “Uh...Beige?”

Me: “Hmmm...are you sure there isn’t purple involved?”

Silence

Me: “I think I’m high... I’m gonna lay back down and hope the fumes win.”

And then it was time for bed...

It looks sturdy enough... Let's take a closer look...

A branch offering support or begging for me to run my shin down it in the dark? 

Don't fall!

Some how I find myself using this as a step on what I feel is a more than normal basis.

Shit! Now I have to pee... That’s not true, you know I didn’t have to pee until it was midnight and I had to down load the flashlight app to my phone.

This was my brother’s entrance, somehow it seems worse to me even though there are no holly bushes involved.... So at least I didn’t have to use this one... OH wait, neither did my brother since when I got up at midnight and climbed down a dark ladder to pee he was just walking around in the kitchen since he made the command decision that it was dry... 

This seemed like a much cooler concept on “Clarissa Explains it All.”